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Hi all, as the boyfriend of someone going through chemo at 37 I was wondering if there were any key things that as a partner I should be doing. What is that has helped you most of all on your journey?

Adrian Roberts Profile
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Family Member or Loved One over 2 years
  • Diana Foster Payne Profile
    anonymes
    Stage 4 Patient
    Hi Adrian, it's very hard having a loved one diagnosed with cancer. I was diagnosed last May with stage 3c breast cancer. Your girlfriend is going to go through a whole range of emotions. Shock, fear, anger, sadness, etc. A lot of women will tell you that the emotional aspect of having breast cancer is harder than the physical aspect. My boyfriend was wonderful & truly my rock. As a caregiver I know he felt helpless. He wanted to take the illness from me but couldn't. There are a lot of things you can do. Go to her appts with her whenever you can. She is going to feel overwhelmed by all the info she receives from her dr. Take a notebook and write things down. Help her by getting an organizer to keep her paperwork together she receives. Write questions down you and she want to ask. If she goes through chemo she's not going to feel great for a few days after. Fatigue is the number one side effect. Nausea, etc can be helped so much now with medications. Help her around the house, with meals, etc. Encourage her, give her lots of hugs and let her cry when she needs to. When I was going through chemo I asked my boyfriend to shave my head when I began losing my hair. It was emotional for both of us but I only wanted him to do it. The main thing is just be there for her and lots of encouragement. There were days when I felt tired & down. My boyfriend encouraged me every step of the way. :). I'm almost finished with my radiation. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm happy to say that my last PET scan showed no cancer!!! He tells me he's going to take me somewhere "beachy" when all this is finished. I'm looking forward to that time. She's blessed to have a supportive boyfriend! I'll say a prayer for you two. Best wishes on your journey. :)
    over 2 years Signal
    • Dawn Sullivan Profile
      anonymes
      Stage 3A Patient

      My husband is the same way. We are on cancer #3 in 2 years and he is an amazing caregiver.

      over 2 years Signal
    • Diana Foster Payne Profile
      anonymes
      Stage 4 Patient

      That's great Dawn!!!!! It makes it so much better doesn't it. So sry you are on #3. I'll be saying a prayer for you in your recovery. Hang in there Hun! Lots of hugs!!

      over 2 years Signal
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  • Sharon Danielson Profile
    anonymes
    Survivor since 2007
    What a wonderful man you are and the love for your girl shows through. She will be scared, a bit depressed, not feeling to great at times, sad, and possibly a bit angry. My husband took me to all my appointments and stood by me through thick and thin. My husband is a man of few words, but he helped by listening to everything that was told to me and reminding me of what the doctors or techs. told me. He was my "memory" when I didn't hear what was said. He would prepare little meals, he took care of our animals, did laundry, watched movies, and dried my tears. He told me my bald head was "beautiful". He was my "glass half full" when my half was totally empty. It was much easier for my husband and I because we operated a little business out of our home. When my husband had to go away, he always kept in contact with me during the day. It is a tough road but it does come to a successful end. There will be days when you probably become frustrated but remember, she is in the fight of her life. She will need your love and care more than she has ever needed it in your time together. You are a wonderful man and she is so lucky to have you an a partner. Please feel free to contact this board, any time. We have all been through breast cancer and it's treatement but are alive to share our experience and support with anyone who needs it. Take care, and blessings to you and your dear lady. Sharon
    over 2 years commentaires Signal
  • Diana Foster Payne Profile
    anonymes
    Stage 4 Patient
    Hi Adrian, it's very hard having a loved one diagnosed with cancer. I was diagnosed last May with stage 3c breast cancer. Your girlfriend is going to go through a whole range of emotions. Shock, fear, anger, sadness, etc. A lot of women will tell you that the emotional aspect of having breast cancer is harder than the physical aspect. My boyfriend was wonderful & truly my rock. As a caregiver I know he felt helpless. He wanted to take the illness from me but couldn't. There are a lot of things you can do. Go to her appts with her whenever you can. She is going to feel overwhelmed by all the info she receives from her dr. Take a notebook and write things down. Help her by getting an organizer to keep her paperwork together she receives. Write questions down you and she want to ask. If she goes through chemo she's not going to feel great for a few days after. Fatigue is the number one side effect. Nausea, etc can be helped so much now with medications. Help her around the house, with meals, etc. Encourage her, give her lots of hugs and let her cry when she needs to. When I was going through chemo I asked my boyfriend to shave my head when I began losing my hair. It was emotional for both of us but I only wanted him to do it. The main thing is just be there for her and lots of encouragement. There were days when I felt tired & down. My boyfriend encouraged me every step of the way. :). I'm almost finished with my radiation. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm happy to say that my last PET scan showed no cancer!!! He tells me he's going to take me somewhere "beachy" when all this is finished. I'm looking forward to that time. She's blessed to have a supportive boyfriend! I'll say a prayer for you two. Best wishes on your journey. :)
    over 2 years commentaires Signal
  • shen cruces Profile
    anonymes
    Stage 3A Patient
    Hi Adrian,
    over 2 years Signal
    • shen cruces Profile
      anonymes
      Stage 3A Patient

      Hi Adrian. My husband has been amazing in supporting me, making me laugh, and has been very involved with my treatment. I am 35 so I can guess that you girlfriend, like me, doesn't have any friends her age who have gone through this. What we...

      plus

      Hi Adrian. My husband has been amazing in supporting me, making me laugh, and has been very involved with my treatment. I am 35 so I can guess that you girlfriend, like me, doesn't have any friends her age who have gone through this. What we did is start a facebook page where we could update our friends all at once and get support. I found it helpful to me so that i didnt have to relive my diagnosis over and over during phone calls. I was very clear to explain that I didn't want to hear sad stories of aunts who died, or other cancer horror stories,ect. ...some people dont know how to be supportive in this kind of situation. Another thing my husband and best friend did was organize a list of friends to bring food after my surgery. This was amazing! He has become my dietician in all this. Making sure I get enough fluids and protein during treatment...to the point of nagging me, but the reality is he has given me no choice but to survive this. We are planning a vacation for this fall after I am done with chemo and radiation. Something to look forward to in a life post cancer. FYI...this site has been a great support for me. I am just starting chemo now so if she ever wants to compare notes she can send me a message or find me on FB. Shen Cruces

      over 2 years Signal
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